If you can’t make fun of the apocalypse, what can you make fun of?
Some things never change – like bras wearing out – even at the end of the world. Sandra and Molly now live together in the building they used to work in before the viruses. Most of the people died quickly, but the survivors will never be the same.
My first published novel, The Apocalypse Sucks (Airship 27 Productions) is still available today and can still make you smile. Unlike some end-of-the-world stories, it is fun and terrifying at the same time. Molly and Sandra are living day-to-day with little food and their weapons handy. When the virus took out most of the world (V-Day) they survived – and had no idea why. Then the bat creatures began to appear, and life became more frightening. But the girls still have each other and their dog, Lady. But Sandra’s last bra has worn out and Molly longs for more Berry Cloud lip gloss. It could be that the deserted mall might hold them both. However, getting out of the safety of the fifteen-story building and walking that far migh mean life or death.
Prying open the door, they peeked into the deserted mall. No movement or noise. Slowly, they tiptoed inside the darkened building. As their eyes adjusted to the dim light, they made their way down the hall, as quietly as possible. Sandra told herself no one was here—however, her bow was still at the ready.
“The bra shop is down that way,” Molly whispered.
“Why are you whispering?” Sandra whispered back.
“I have no idea,” Molly said louder, then ran around in circles, her arms in the air. “God, I’ve missed you mall! Give me Berry Cloud or give me death!” Molly squealed.
“Simmer down. You might just get your wish,” said Sandra.
“We have to pass Sephora to get to Macy’s, if I remember right. Let’s go to the back and see if there are any cases left. I’ll just die if there isn’t any left,” Molly said.
“Can you please stop talking about death? Anyway, if the lip gloss is gone, you’ll use Vaseline. A big jar of Vaseline will take care of you just fine,” Sandra shot back. Even though she thought it was silly to whisper, she felt like someone—or something—was listening in on their conversation.
Molly rolled her eyes.
“Oh, I hope there are unopened boxes in the back,” Molly said, bounding toward the open door of Sephora. Inside, the shelves had been ransacked. Lady whined as she looked at the jumble of broken merchandise, trying to decide which way to step. The door to the storeroom hung open, revealing more cosmetics chaos. Boxes were ripped open and on their sides. Gingerly, Molly picked her way through the mess, looking for anything that might say “lip gloss.” Perching on top of one box and sliding over the top, she landed behind a mountain of stock.
“I’ve found it!” she shrieked. “Berry Cloud—a whole box full!”
“Shush,” Sandra whispered. Molly’s face popped above a box looking at her. Something wasn’t right. Sandra didn’t hear it—she felt it. A low growl began deep inside Lady, growing as her hackles rose. She backed away from the door as Sandra raised the bow once more. Moments passed, as the women stood still as statues. Nothing.
“We’re not alone,” Sandra said. “Lady heard it, too.”
“Maybe the wind? There are some back doors to this place,” Molly said with a lack of conviction in her voice.
Pick up a copy of The Apocalypse Sucks and if you love it, leave me a review.
What are you reading this week?